White aprons, a litmann steth, glazing formals – pride on the face..who doesn’t want to be a doctor.

Is this really who doctors are?
Well, there is a different story, a varied perspective, a unseen struggle, a selfless dream.

Here, I start my day at 7.Get ready and run towards my wards by 8. Ohh..i forgot to mention,it was emergency day of my unit yesterday and we have lots of new patients in our ward. Yes, new patients,newer complaints, fresh investigations,tricky diagnosis and vigorous treatment.atleast thats what we dream, but will it really happen?

8:15 AM : am making list of patients who need to be accessed and noted upon. Suddenly, a voice from corner of my ward shrills my ear ” doctor Sabb..saline is overrrr”.It’s time to change saline bottle of my patient, as sister is busy in her cabin and a junior doctor get to do everyone’s work.

8:30Am : Running through probable diagnosis of my patients and checking their heart rate and bp, I notice few having very low bp and some too high.now the run begins,set an noradrenaline infusion to rise their blood pressure and inject antihypertensive to patients with high bp.

Lost in all deeds, I notice my consultant who have come for rounds.God save me, I haven’t updated any investigation reports yet.yes, be prepared to face the fury.(luckily, i got a awesome consultant, cool as northern breeze😉).

After a long rounds, exhausttteeeddd..I come back to my chair and plan to collect blood , pleural fluids, ascitic fluids samples and send them in hurry before the central lab closes.

11 Am : Hospital is a place u get life and it’s a place where you give it away.

A guy with both kidneys failed, crying for every breath.his wife standing beside with blank eyes.Rips our heart,but we must face it everyday.
A young boy with a terminal disease gasping for breath, wreching cry of his mother..those sobs fill our heart with agony, we were helpless.
We never want to give up, we try and try but none can stop him leaving.

Time runs fast.
It’s 3 PM : and.. I forgot my lunch..just about to leave,then just my intern shouts, “bp is 80/40” – forget hunger,pickup saline,rush the fluids,let his veins swell up and his heart gush out blood.

Time runs and runs..I run with it, race in the ward.ohh.its 8pm..most of my work is done,my patients are stable. Hope no one dies. There comes a sense of relief, we rest in our chairs.

9 PM : We do have friends.
Work done👍 is always equal to time for fun. We gossip with our buddies, laugh out loud, eat some snacks, forget our frustrations.

11pm: we end our day with plans for tomorrow and Hoping to get some sleep,just as you.

We stand still, we bend too, we sway with the wind. We  are “you”.

A Dying Mother and a Determined Surgeon(Doctors dairy)

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